Friday, June 2, 2023

Communication Tips from a Retired Spy :JJ Brun

How to survive in hostile territory https://youtu.be/bxQ3rITRHQ0 JJ Brun was a "Contact Handler" in a war zone in Bosnia Herzegovina. His official title was Director General Intelligence Strategic Debriefing Officer. He was there to collect information from the people. He survived and succeeded in his role of building a large intelligence network of local people. Ideas and concepts that we explore in this conversation with JJ Brun, The Retired Spy: How to mentally prepare when you know you can't shoot your way out The importance of appreciating names and getting them right Why deception is not the best approach Developing your listening and observing skills Key phrases to build trust and encourage open conversation Assessing personal types and adapting your approach ----- Outline & Highlights 00:00 Introduction 01:57 What is a contact handler? 06:55 What are the skills and mindset to survive? 09:06 When the message is more important than bullets 13:09 How to build relationships with hostile people 13:35 What do the bad guys want from you? 18:02 How to establish trust 20:25 How to start a conversation with a stranger 23:32 How to get close to the hardliners 24:32 Even bad guys have table manners 27:02 The 4 steps to establish rapport 29:39 JJ deduces George's communication style 35:27 Can you say my name? 38:42 10 most effective icebreaking questions ----- Visit the website for JJ Brun https://theretiredspy.com/ Email JJ Brun at hello@theretiredspy.com Listen to this episode (79) on the podcast, Your Intended Message https://yourintendedmessage.podbean.com/e/communication-techniques-from-a-retired-spy-jj-brun/ ----- Excerpts from this conversation with JJ Brun, The Retired Spy And people, if you come with the, uh, sincere interest of sharing their story, right, that their life mattered, and I was more of a reporter in a sense of you, you're going there, you're looking to build a not to find a connection. Well, now, in every interaction we have with people, you're either gonna compete or complete that interaction, right? Either gonna compete or complete. Now English is my second language. And when I'm writing the word complete and compete, one has the letter L in it. So my brain was, goes to, well, what's the L factor? In order to complete an interaction, until you can find a common link, a common like, or common love, no connection. JJ (00:16:13) - As soon as you can find a common link, a common, like a common love, you have an opportunity to make that connection. And it's more, it's very much like a climbing and a ladder. You know, you take a ladder, you have to have some awareness here in regards to what's the top, what's the bottom? And you have to anchor it on the, a solid foundation and lean it on something that's solid. Climbing a ladder will require effort, energy, awareness, right? There's wrongs and there's, you have to go up. Well, I'm not a big advocate of instant rapport. I do believe you can make an instant connection with people. If you can find that common link, that common light, that common love, boom, connection. Right? Now we're going, we're, we're, we're moving up that ladder. And the four inks to connecting the four inks to connecting that I discerned when I was there, is listening, observing, discerning, and speaking, that I really have to listen to the person to what they're saying.